Number 7, already.

I probably could think of the definition of a bad day, but today bypassed that thought of a bajillion bad thoughts probably. It was basically the worst day someone could throw at me, and have put into my life. I will remember it for a wile, until something worse comes around; I'm really trying to think positive lately but it's not working out too well, there is just too much going on. I feel like i'm almost at a standstill to realize the good things that are hapening in my life. 
I basically fell apart internally tonight, everything inside my head is a complete mess.
I went to Ari's for abit, and that usually takes my mind of most of the bad things in my life, but lately I have been having nightly conversations with one of my bestfriends, Isabella. She honestly had the same felings as me about everything that is going on, because she is experiencng the same things. I love her to death, and her thoughts always have such a nice place in my brain.
It's really warm out. I just walked out to Josh's car to put some stuff in there for him.
I don't even want ot blog right now. I'm so depressed.

SIXXXXXX

It feels like forever since i've been here to blog. This whole weekend i felt a sort of with draw from something, and now I have truely figured out what it is.  I had the least productive weekend in a while, and it was honestly needed so much.  Most of the friends I have from school i wouldn't even consider "friends", more like "acquaintances" because I don't really enjoy their company at all, and we really don't even connect the least bit.  Sadly, Friday night I sat out at a football game, in the freezing cold for 3 hours, and i wasn't even interested.  I was sooo happy to go back to my bestfriends house after, because unlike everyone else she is the only person that can completely understand me. She basically is me.  If i had her, and my bestfriend Josh i swear I basically would be set with my life, but it's always good to have a lot of people that I know will always be there for me.
Friday night, while at Ari's i didn't do much. When i got to her house no one was home except me, so with my key, i let myself in, and just hung around for a while and watched "The Soup." After that, Ari and Izy came home and we all sta in Ari's bed for a while talking about things that have upset us, and i know for me that makes me feel 100% better about every situation. Fell asleep pretty early that night, and it was NEEDED. I woke up Saturday, and headed out to the mall where i bought a few things, and walked around for a couple of hours. The time to go home came, and I was ready. While at home, igot ready for an Indution dinner for my grandfather to be inducted into my high school's Sport's Hall of Fame, and i only agreed to goingbecause my mom said it would only take about an hour or so.. well, 3 and a halfhours later I was so happy it was over. But i'm glad i was able to spend some time with my family. Nick, my borther, brought me backt o Ari's house after that was over, and i honestly had such a good night. I couldn't of asked for a better one, but i woke up this morning and i was extrememly sick; as usual.
I don't know if i have talked about it yet, but i'm having a formal debate in English class soon and i'm very excited. I'm not sure what my topic to debate is yet, but when i figure it out i will be sure to blog about it! I also have to write a pursuasive essay which i am happy about; but what is bugging me is the fact i have to read "Catcher in the Rye" it looks so stupid. >:( Ahhhhh, well i carved a pumpkin today and i think it turned out cute!
The end.

Five if we're really counting.. i think?

The usual morning routine happened; woke up, showered, got ready, car, not really late today though. I'm tired today, very very tired today.  Huge predicament with my french teacher earlier, she's completely psycho, seriously. I just want to leave it at that because of the fact I would write forever about it, and i would get so annoyed if i had to re-live that part of my day. Point is, i hate her. After school, i went to Art Club. I really love going there, and i love how I can have such a great time even though i am horrible at art. Mr.P is honestly the coolest teacher i have ever met, and he adopted me as the "scribe" of the class! The rest of my day is going to be pretty busy, sadly. At around 7:30 I have to go babysit my little cousin who is 8 months, and is such a hassle.  Wonder how that's going to go.. blah. But thankfully, when that's over around 10 i will be able to write about a debate that i'm going to have in English class. I was completely psyched today when my English teacher, Mr.Deren, told us that we were going to have class debates and we all have to think of topics. My topic: Should high school students be drug tested? I have arguments for both sides, like the fact that is is an invasion to their privacy and what not but also, on the flip side, there is the fact of drug usuers could be transfered to a different school where problems of that nature are helped, and stopping drug-use early gives the person a better chance at a good life. 
I don't know, a couple of thoughts. I'm pretty sure I would say that children shouldn't be drug tested to attend a certain high school because it is very much an invasion of privacy, and unless a HUGE problem, people can still focus completely on schoolwork, and be successful if they do drugs.
But, i'm tired, like i said, and before I have to babysit i would love to get in 30 minutes of sleep at least.
Bye!

Did i really have to know?

I will not be able to fall asleep without getting some thoughts out of my head. I honestly don't know why when i'm already feeling horrible about a situation, and go to someone for advice they always end up giving me such good advice and making me feel 50% better about the situation i'm in, but then when I think everything is said and done that 50% good feeling shoots right now to -100% good feeling. It is seriously always the last sentence a person decides to share with me that ruins everything.
I'm just going to throw my opinion out here on the topic of relationships; they are basically pointless, and only used for most people as a sense that someone will be there for them until they decided they get sick of eachother, or things weren't working out as they had hoped in the first place (when they barely knew eachother)..etc. I won't waste my time until I know I am actually able to love that person. Which, in my opinion, takes atleast (speaking at the least number ever ever ever ever) would be two years, and that is the bare bottom smallest minimum amountof years for the words "I love you" to actually mean anything what so ever to me. 
I'm over the whole "he didn't text me back so i can't talk to him for three days", it's stupid. Texting is another stupid concept, and don't get me wrong i'm at24/7texter, but that's because no one else enjoys talking o on the phone, or has the time to hangout, like i do. Life may seem to last a long time, but when all said and done i want to be able to look back and see that i wasted as little time as possible with things. It's time to move on. Those five words, placed in that order, in a sentence coming from my mind, are the worst words I ever have to say together. I'm not a big fan of change, especially if something is put in place and is almost exactly how i could ever want it, without me actually controlling it.  I can honestly say in July, and some of August I was happy. Everything was going amazing, and i couldn't of asked for anything anyother way.  I learned then that there was a true happy state that a person can be in, by the way events naturally occur.  But, things obviously couldn;t last forever, because of the simple fact that nothing is forever.  I know the feeling that I have been feeling for the passed month or so isn't a good one, and it's going to be so hard to take the passed 2+ years of my life and basically throw them away, only keeping them as the "good memories" i'll refer to when i'm having another bad day,  or the people get brought up in conversation.  I don't have bad things to say about anyone now.
It's generally said that seeing two people happy together should make someone happy, and i can tell you, nine out of ten times that is usually the case for me.. but this is infact the tenth time and it only brings me a feeling of depression in a way. I don't even know anymore. I honestly think talking about it makes it more and more true to me that moving on will be my best bet at this time.  And like i said, nothing is forever, so maybe someday i'll get this great, soon to be missed, part of my life back.

Three threee threeeee!

It's Wednesday, and i feel like this week is going by extremely slow, but today was the best day I have had in a while, and since it's nearly three o'clock, i hope it stays that way! It started up with a surprisingly easy wake-up, quick shower and if you saw me you would clearly realize i decided to not do much with my hair today, but it is what it is and i survived. I walked into school a few minutes after the bell, and did the usual morning activities.  History, French, Bio, and then was English. And yes, today was the day i got to present my play! I was sooo nervous thinking about it but thanks to my group we did so well. I even got a few induvidual compliments on how well i speak. When i say this i mean it in the least conceided way possible; i love to talk, so it didn't surprise me too much. Finished the day off with Psychology (which provides such an interest for me, then I had Algebra, and finally ceramics; and then I got home, and sat aound for a bit, facebooked, and then decided I would write here. Currently, I am listening to Okkervil River. I absolutely love them, the lyrics to their songs are amazing.. it's crazy. After this, i will probably shower and clean up because there's a 99.9% chance of me going out later, so i have to be prepared :)
Bye!

Number Two

Well, it's now Tuesday. I had so much to do yesterday, i couldn't actually get on here to blog.  So, I guess I'll strat with Monday events.  I had work, which consists of basically "office bitch" work, as I like to call it.  I pretty much do everything that no one else wants to do, with the help of another friend of mine that was given a job there, and since I get to tell her what to do, i don't necessarily consider myself the lowest on the food chain. Well, prior to work, school was a complete mess. I will never say this enough but I hate Monday's, especially since my school held a career day Friday there was so much I had to catch up on, as did everyone else.  After work, insted of memorizing my lines for English class (Act 2 Sc. 6 lines 1-70) of "The Merchant of Venice", or doing my Algebra homework, or creating a very important History outline; I hungout with a friend, came home, and fell asleep watching Monday night football with my brother and some of his friends.  I should probably give myself the whole "priority check" next time I want to do something of that nature, but school was really getting to me so it feels nice to put it behind me at some points, and do something I want to do.  I watched "Operation Repo" for the first time yesterday, and for some reason I couldn't grasp the whole "I'm going to take your car" thing, until it was explained to me 3+ times.  I find that completely wierd, but i guess "every action has an equal an opposite reaction" and if you don't pay your car bills, you don't deserve to have one.

Tuesday (Today): Well, today was a "typical tuesday" as some would say.  I woke up at 6:30, showered, got ready for school, and sat around waiting for my brother to get ready.  I can't wait until I have my own license and car and i'm able to do things on my own time.  Wierdly enough, i was on time today, and walked into my first class ready to practice the lines I neglected to practice on Monday, and  if you were wondering, I do have to present tomorrow. YES, TOMORROW.
--- "His hour is almost passed", "O' Ten times faster than Venus' pigeons fly, to seal loves bonds new made than they are wont. To keep obliged faith unforfeited." "Here comes Lorenzo,more of this hereafter." "Sweet friends, your patience for my long abode, not i but my affairs have made you wait. When you shall please to play the theives for wives, i'll watch as long for you then. Approach. Here dwells my father Jew. Ho! Who's within?"---
Well, those are about 1/4 of my lines, the only ones that I can actually memoirze without mixing up words, or stuttering,..etc. Anyway, after I got that class out of the way, i made my way to History. I HATE MY NEW HISTORY TEACHER SO MUCH.  He doesn't underdstand effort, thinks everything has to be COMPLETELY right, and teachers only what he has too.  I had Mr. Johnson at first, and i cou;dn't of been happier; the first 3 weeks of school I actually started to enjoy History, and understand what we were learning about. I'm going to have to do something to remain sane for the remainder of this year.  The next class, and last class i'm going to write about is French. It is crazy. This is my third year, and i still couldn't tell you how to say the simple sentence "I am Alexa and I am in high school." And no, no, no, no it is NOT because I am unattentive, it comes down to the simple fact that I haven't actually had a steady teacher.. and now, this new one, is a complete maniac. She wears "belly-shirts" and has about a bajillion and a half tattoo's, and a good amount of piercings (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but on her it isn't working out). But believe it or not, it isn't the tattoo's, or piercings, or the clothing that really urks me, it is 99.9% her personality.  She completely LACKS social skills, and doesn't leave enough breathing room for students to learn.  It's outrageous. In the end, i know i'll survive; so i'll just have to wait this year out. After school i headed to work and today wasn't bad at all. I explained the just of a couple of movies to a co-worker, filed a few papers, cleaned out some drawers, but i also told a lot of stories; which ALWAYS puts me in a good mood.  I love to talk, basically letting others know exactly what is going on in my life gives me a sense of good feeling, and when they give me positive feedback it makes me feel like i'm doing something right; but don't get me wrong.. I DO NOT NEED THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS TO LIVE MY LIFE AT ALL, i just enjoy it, and if i'm able to get it then why not, right?! 
Anyway, i came home around 5:30, watched the CSI:Miami I missed, and then cooked my brother some dinner, and ate something myself.  I remember when I was about 6 I would watch Cops EVERY NIGHT with my dad, and wanted to be a cop for the longest time, my thoughts changed and I, then, had my heart set on being a forensic scientist; which is what got me into CSI.  After looking more into jobs like those, it made me think more and more about the people that are effected because of crimes, violence..etc which then made me pick the career i know i am 100% set on now, which is a Psychiatrist.
Time to go do some MUCHHH needed homework :)

Number one

So, i started this whole blog thing today, thanks to one of my good friends. I'm extremely interested in writing, and now i actually have a reason to.  I'm not really sure what I'm actually suppose to be doing yet, but since this is titled "The Life of Me" I should probably include some of the events that occur daily in, well, my life.  I didn't do much today, seeing as it was Sunday; so i was mostly focused on homework and what not. I'm starting to realize I have to base my life soley upon my decisions, and really not take anything out of what people with negative energy have to say, and even some of the people with positive energy. 

It's getting late, so I'll have to remember to truely "start" this blog when i get back here, tomorrow.